Someday
by Sabby1
Summary: Post Season Seven: Buffy tries to come to grip with her new life, but finds herself unable to forget a certain peroxide thorn in her side.


Disclaimer: BtVS does not belong to me, it still belongs to Joss, ME, UPN and 20th Century Fox. I intend no copyright infringement here, so please don't sue.  
  
A/N: Ok, so this is my first Buffy fic that I ever posted and please don't ream me too much if I do anything that might be weird or against some unwritten rules *g* I was addicted to BtVS from the beginning and I like to think that I have my characters down, however, if this is not the case, please tell me so I can improve. I don't know how long it will take until I update this again, so feel free to leave now if you're to impatient to wait.  
  
Buffy was sitting on the ledge of the Hyperion rooftop, high up, looking out on the city. Her friend's city, L.A.. Her legs dangled over the edge and her eyes took in the dark blue skies and their stark contrast to the citylights and the moving and bustling of the city life. Taking a deep drag of her cigarette, she blew the smoke into the warm night air, wishing she could see some stars, but even high up here, the smog of the city made this impossible, even tinting the dark blue of the nightly skies with a thin grey vail. Shaking her head she flicked the butt of her smoke away with her fingers and watched it's descend into the abyss that ended in the street about 10 stories below.  
  
"Hey, anything new out there?" A scratchy, but good humored female voice from behind made her turn halfway around, propping one leg up onto the ledge, bent at her knee, the other still dangling outside.   
  
Faith grinned at her as she stepped slowly closer, lighting her own cigarette. "Nah, not really. I'm just taking some healthy alone time." Buffy gave her friend only half of the truth, she didn't want to talk about her other reason to come out here.  
  
The brunette slayer expelled a long billow of smoke, scratching her nose as she finally came to the edge of the roof. She sat down on the lege, facing Buffy. "Listen B," Faith hesitated for a moment before she continued. "If you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine by me, but I see what's going on." She took another drag of her smoke, eyeing her friend closely, waiting for her reaction.  
  
Buffy sighed, looking away for a moment, before she turned back to Faith. Ok, she'd give in and talk. "That obvious?" She asked timidly.  
  
Faith gave her a wicked grin. "Not to the others, no. But you've got that haunted look on your face whenever someone brings up what happened in good old Sunnyhell..." Buffy flinched almost imperceptibly at Faith's term of endearment for the town that was now nothing but a crater. "Like just now," the brunette slayer continued. "And you keep whipping your head around every single time the entrance doors swing open at night time with that hopeful look on your face just before you see who's entering. And when you finally see who it is, or should I say who it *isn't* you get that crushed expression where your face falls into that frown and you do the crossing the arms over your chest and scowling thing."   
  
Buffy shot Faith a questioning look. She hadn't even realized that herself. "When have you turned Miss Observant? Should I be worried that you're stalking me?" Buffy tried for a smile, but it felt weak, even to herself.  
  
Faith let out a bark of laughter before taking another drag from her smoke. She sent it flying out in a wide arc before it went the same way Buffy's had gone a few minutes prior. "No worries, B. I was keeping an eye on you, cuz I knew it was bound to come. Wanted to make sure you'd be ok and not do something stupid after just saving the world from 'The Apocalypse'" Then her face went completely serious. "You miss him, and it's slowly driving you crazy." Not letting Buffy get a word in, she continued. "It's been months B, he's gone and he won't come back. You have to move on."  
  
Buffy swallowed heavily before expelling a ragged breath and fishing her pack of smokes from her jacket pocket. With shaking fingers she pulled one out and placed it between her lips. Faith was already holding out her lighter and giving her fire. After the first inhale of calming nicotine, Buffy whispered her reply, looking up at her sister in arms with a gutwrenchingly anguished look "I can't."  
  
Faith let go of an exhasparated breath. "You'll have to. I don't know what happened in these last minutes down there in the hell hole, but what ever it was, it should have given you some kind of closure for fucks sake!" Faith didn't know why her tone was suddenly so irritated, it just didn't sit well with her that the strongest person she'd ever known was so damn close to giving up.  
  
Buffy swung both legs onto the roof side of the ledge and jumped into a standing position, the gravel under her boots scrunching under her angry stomps as she started pacing in front of Faith. "It didn't ok? At least not to me! I told him Faith, I told him and he didn't believe me!" Buffy was throwing her arms out in a wild gesture, the ashes from her cigarette between the fingers of her right hand flying away as she stopped in midstride, facing Faith dead on. "He didn't believe me," she repeated the words subdued as her hands fell limply to her sides. "God you should have seen his face. He knew he'd die! He knew it and he did it anyway, and he died not believing that I meant it! He died for me, for all of us, eventhough he was of the honest to god opinion that I didn't love him, that none of us loved him." Buffy's head dropped as she took another deep drag of her cigarette, hiding the tears that had started to form in her eyes.   
  
Bracing her hands on the ledge on both sides of her, Faith pushed herself off and slowly started to walk over to Buffy. She didn't know what to say that could help her friend and make it better. Instead she walked up silently to the devistated blond, tentatively reaching out her arms and closing them around the smaller girl, pulling her in for a hug. She had seen the scoobies do that a lot back in the days and even though Faith didn't know jack shit about comforting another person, she figured it couldn't hurt.  
  
Buffy went completely ridgid for a moment, when she felt herself being embraced by the woman that had turned from being her friend, to being her enemy and back to being her friend in the course of a few years. She willed herself to be strong, but when she felt Faith squeezing her even tighter for a moment, Buffy let go and hugged her friend back, a few silent tears escaping her closed eyes as she leaned into the comfort given by a person that had never received this particular emotion herself. "Thank you," she whispered over Faith's shoulder.  
  
When they both drew back, the girls gave eachother a somewhat awkward and embarrassed smile, neither of them quite knowing how to handle things from here. Faith took a deep breath and spoke first.   
  
"So, I think we should probably, go back in before fangbreath down there is calling in a search party for us." She jerked her thumb in the direction of the metal door that was the entrance to the staircase that lead back down into the hotel hallway.  
  
Her blonde friend nodded slowly. "Yeah." Buffy threw the butt of her cigarette that she still hadn't let go up until now to the floor and stubbed it out with the tip of her boot before whiping her fingers under her lower lids, to remove any trace of smudges that her short crying fit might have caused. "Okay?" She looked questioningly up at Faith, regaining her composure and almost succeeding in pulling off the 'Everything's fine' look, almost being the operative word.  
  
"Yeah, dandy." Faith followed a few steps behind Buffy as they started to make her way to the door. "Hey, B" When Buffy turned around again, Faith gave her a small smile. "Someday It's gonna be ok. Just give it time and you'll see before you know it, everything will be five by five again."  
  
Buffy gave a silent snort of laughter, not really able to believe her friend yet. She nodded. "Yeah, someday." 'But how long will it take til someday is here?' she asked herself silently before turning back to the door and making her way back to the world down there, where the game was to smile and pretend she was 'Happy Buffy without a worry in the world' fake smile and all. 


End file.
